- Get cat carrier off of high garage shelf and dust it off; it's been a year since you used it.
- Notice that the cat has seen the "Box of Death" and has opted to retreat to the inner recesses of your daughter's box springs.
- Tempt said cat with tuna. Find that this is futile. Notice that you have five minutes to get to the vet.
- Call your husband, who comes in with a long pole. He thinks this will help until he realizes that the cat is INSIDE, and not UNDER, the bed.
- Have your husband shake the entire bed and scare the %&*# out of the cat. Wait, ready, by the bedroom door.
- Grab fleeing cat.
- Insert flailing cat hind-end-first into Box of Death. Ignore moans and wails while hauling the now-heavy Box to the car. You are now five minutes late for your appointment.
- Arrive at appointment ten minutes late. Apologize for your tardiness and the banshee-like noises coming from the Box of Death.
- Find yourself quickly deposited in the nearest available room so the banshee will stop scaring the other unsuspecting pets.
- Say hi to the doctor, who now has to extract the furry banshee from the Box of Death, the same one she barely fit in at home.
- Let the doctor take the banshee away for shots. Listen to her howling from the waiting room.
- Finish the entire appointment in ten minutes so that the banshee can be removed from the premises.
- Drive the banshee back home while she screams at you from the Box of Death. Apparently, cat profanity contains many vowels.
- Arrive home, open the Box of Death, and watch the banshee disappear. Appreciate the silence.
- Wait until your daughter arrives home to extract the cat from under YOUR bed (because hers is clearly no longer safe) and yell at you for mistreating her cat.
- Sigh and be grateful that it's over for another year.
Four people, a dog, a cat, a bunny, a chinchilla,and just enough chaos to go around.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
How to Vaccinate Your Cat (A Community Service Announcement)
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